We’re especially honored to share the words of Lydia Lawrence, a nurse who’s seen the pandemic from the front lines, grappling first-hand with realities most of us only read about. Not only is Lydia dedicated to caring for patients during this time of global trauma, she’s also writing poetry to make sense of the trauma. Lydia asks “Who rescues the rescuer?” Such an important question. Read on for her thoughts on the matter.

At DCTRENDING, from the bottom of our hearts, we thank Lydia Lawrence for her service!

Read more about the COVID Poetry & Art Project here.

Nursing in Corona

How long til I feel the ground

Safely beneath my feet?

How long must I tread water,

Stuck out here in the deep?

Can I escape the current

And surf the swells to shore?

Or will the waves betray me

And pummel me to the floor?

How long before my energy flags,

And I slip down beneath

The ocean's salty surface

Where I am lulled to sleep?

Will my end be violent?

Will I fight for every breath?

Or will I simply give up

And accept impending death?

Perhaps there will be rescue

To carry me safely home.

Then I remember I'm the rescue,

I'm out here all alone.

[“Nursing in Corona” was originally published on Mike Maggio’s website. You can find the original COVID project post here.]

Chatting with Lydia

Can you tell us a little about this poem or piece of art and how you came to create it? How has the current crisis (or crises) influenced your art? 

I wrote this poem toward the beginning of the COVID outbreak. I am a nurse and have many friends who are also nurses. It was very overwhelming at that time to continue to work and care for patients, especially with so much unknown and so many equipment shortages. I was sitting in my backyard on a day off, reading and thinking, when it came to me: Who rescues the rescuer?

A sign expressing thanks is all well and good, but it doesn't protect me from COVID-19 or mitigate the outbreak. No healthcare professional signed up to save lives [thinking they wouldn’t have] the means to protect themselves or their family. Then add the murders of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd. It was an overwhelming time as a nurse and a Black woman.

I think these crises have caused my art to expand. At times, I can be more prolific, especially being home more. During the lockdown, I spent most of my downtime sitting in my backyard for hours, just reading, thinking and writing. I never got tired of doing this. Additionally, these crises have caused me to dive deeper into myself and write more intimate, sometimes painful poetry. It may not even be focused on the crises of this year, as much as trauma within myself or trauma seen in my job. Anything that inspires emotion in me, I write.

What role do you think the arts play in times of turmoil and uncertainty?

I think in the times of turmoil and uncertainty, the arts can give us connection, perspective, expression. Sometimes, we don't know how to identify what we feel in moments of turmoil, and an artist or writer can find a way to express that feeling for us. Looking back on times of turmoil, art can give a lasting window into the most intimate thoughts and feelings experienced during that time. It's a special gift to be able to make a connection with a writer or artist from decades ago through their art. 

What are you viewing/reading/watching/listening to these days? 

Right now, I'm reading several different books at once--Hybrida, a book of poetry on being biracial; As Long As Grass Grows, a Native perspective on environmental justice; and The Nautical Negro, Brian James's memoir. 

Do you have a favorite local writer or artist (D.C. area)? 

I love reading poems by Tahir Hamut Izgul, a poet in the Fairfax area. His works have such depth!

Anything else that you want to say?

Thank you to DCTRENDING for giving artists and writers such as myself a platform where we can share our work.

About the Poet

From childhood, I have had instilled in me a love of reading, writing and the English language. While my passion for poetry was found when I connected to nature through surfing, my poetry has evolved to include all aspects of my life. My works range from fantastical experiences in nature to very real emotions experienced in my job as a hospice nurse. My goal in all my writing is to convey the beauty and emotions found in the small and large moments of life.

To see my latest work, go to https://www.art-4-us.com/lydia or https://musingsofawaternymph.blogspot.com/?m=1